After a potentially precarious plummet into a patch of poisonous purple plants, the group manages to pluck Erevan from near certain hallucinogenic meltdown. Brushing chunks of granite and stone from his shoulders, Alrik notices a heavily worn path leading further into the cavern and beckons the group to follow. Stealthily following his lead, the group manages to spot colonies of terrifying bats and stirges gathered in the far corners. Electing to back away slowly, the group retraces their steps without alerting the clouds of blood-sucking creatures to their presence. Noticing a less trodden alternate path, Alrik and Hermoine lead the group to a skin-curtained room. Despite Beansprout actively combing over the entrance with his keen powers of perception, the two dwarves decide to push through the flapped-doorway and are immediately stung with multiple poisonous barbs protruding from the edges of leathery sheet. Realizing they have reached a dead-end and recognizing they are standing in the middle of a meat-locker, the group realizes they must find a way past the creatures barring their way further into the cavern. The group’s unstable wizard, Jado Rashaka, spends a moment calling upon his knowledge of stirges and does recall their affinity for fresh blood. Tossing entire bovine-shanks over their shoulders, Alrik, Hermoine, and Dom Justo engage in a cow tossing contest that immediately catches the attention of the blood-suckers. The group takes advantage of the distraction to move quickly and quietly past stirges and down into the cavern.
Not quick to forget the poison still burning their skin from their last hasty entry into a new space, the dwarven tag team abruptly halts the group at the entrance to a large open chamber. Drawing their eyes to the ground, Alrik and Hermoine give each other a quick glance before bursting into laughter at the sight of child-like watercolor paintings covering large holes in the floor. The group watches quizzically as the two dwarves gleefully shred the kobold paper art and reveal a spike trap of doom. Instructing the group how to effortlessly step around the laughable trap, the dwarves lead the group into the large chamber, where they discover a drake-breaking pen and a closed taproom full of unsuspecting, table-dancing kobolds.
Briefed and coordinated by Beansprout Hillgallows, the group elects to simultaneously blast through the doors and come in swinging. Jado’s hands spew fire at the bar-dancing beasts. And at the ceiling. And the floor. And the walls. Alrik comes charging in behind him, swinging with such reckless abandon that he manages slice himself with his own greatsword. In complete awe of the spectacle before them, the kobolds are incapable of processing the shitshow they behold, which is fortunate because the rest of the group destroys all kobolds but one before anyone knows what the heck is happening. Realizing his death is all but certain, Lucky the kobold surrenders to the circus of destruction before him. Jado gives the kobold a chance to provide helpful information, which at first Lucky does not provide openly. Jado whispers a quick phrase into Erevan’s ear, and the two immediately jump into their signature “Bad Cop, Bad Cop” routine as the two shower Lucky with threats of annihilation intermingled with wails of the damned, shards of charred furniture, and bits of Lucky’s friends. Before entering a stress-induced coma, Lucky offers up directions to the hatchery, and Dom Justo ties and gags Lucky and throws him over his shoulder. A moment later, a stone falls from the ceiling and crushes Lucky’s face.
Following Lucky’s directions, the group enters Dom’s fantasy palace, complete with private swimming pool, four mystery spouts, a giant obsidian black dragon shrine, and a small militia of fanatic murderers. Alrik locks eyes with his arch-enemy, Langderosa Cyanwrath, who is as surprised as he is pleased for a rematch. Doing what he does best, Beansprout makes for the closest statue and begins firing bolts from cover at the charging warriors. Ignoring his accumulated wounds, Alrik charges bravely forward to engage the enemies before they can reach Beansprout’s position. On the opposite side of the room, Hermoine and Dom Justo form a waiting blockade for the fast-approaching hostiles. Noticing the ferocity and sturdiness of the enemy, the group’s cleric begins to heal with all of the power he can muster. Erevan concentrates on orb of explosive thunder that detonates amidst the charging foes, but the enemy does not relent.
Things begin to look dire for the heroes. Jado attempts to split a ray of fire and bring down some of the damaged foes, but the energies become unstable and an unexpected blast from his second ray sends him reeling. Alrik has curled himself into a ball and is making high pitched squeals as he is surrounded by warriors incapable of penetrating his miraculously armadillo-like form. Cyanwrath’s towering presence is enough to cause Hermoine to panic for a moment and lodge her weapon into the ground. All hope seems lost until the group brings down one of the foes. Rallying behind this momentum, Dom Justo pours divine energy into his polearm and executes a mighty smite upon one of the cultists. Beansprout fires back on one of the warriors engaged with the cleric, lodging multiple bolts into the fanatic’s face. Jado curses his foes and summons a barrage of deadly arcane bolts to begin striking them down.
In an attempt to isolate Cyanwrath, Erevan charges the half-dragon and surrounds the space around them in magical darkness. Seemingly unfazed by his loss of vision, Cyanwrath smirks as he pulls away effortlessly from Hermoine and rushes over to Jado, Dom, and the cleric, who have resorted to back-to-back defensive position. Cyanwrath releases a lightning blast through the group, leaving the heroes clinging to life. Hearing the screams of her allies behind her, Hermoine Danger also breaks away and charges desperately after Cyanwrath. Feeling his victory near, the half-dragon draws back for another finishing blast. Just then Dom Justo leaps forward and jams his polearm hilt under warrior’s jaw, dispersing the electricity gathering in his mouth. Hermoine immediately smashes headlong into Cyanwrath from behind sending him flying onto the ground. Other members of the group rush to their aid, despite the continued squeals of Alrik behind them. Ultimately it is Jado who quickly approaches, holds his hands over the helpless egomaniac and engulfs the prone warrior in fatal flame, reducing Cyanwrath to delicious gator bites. As the remaining enemies take pause at the sight of their leader being burned alive, Alrik rises from his armadillo ball and strikes down his newfound frenemies with savage swings from his greatsword. The epic battle finally comes to an end as viscera bursts out from the side of the darkness orb and Erevan announces, “We’re good!”